How to Grow A Beard: A Workplace Strategy

Updated: Feb 3

Beard growing is an artform. Trying to grow a massive beard can seem like a daunting task. But great beards are not just for hipsters and lumberjacks any more. This article will help you to transition from beard novice to beard artist.

Growing a beard, Phase 1: Stubble to beard.

If you have a regular 9-5 job, coming into the workplace with a scraggly half-beard may raise unwanted attention from the HR gestapo. A five o’clock shadow may have people thinking that you are hungover or you missed some sleep, even if that’s true we don’t want that kind of attention. While you are growing it out, you want a nice transition from a babyface to a macho bearded brute.

First, calculate what day your new baby beard will look the worst. Think about how often you currently shave; every day, every other day. You want to have your most scruffy days of beard growth to fall on the weekend, when you aren’t meeting with your CEO. Then back track to plan your week accordingly. For me, I would have my final shave Monday and by Friday I would be half a Sasquatch. You can get away with more stubbled on a Friday than a Monday. Let it grow the weekend. If the beard on the side of your face grows more quickly than your goatee area, grow the goatee stubble first. When you come back into work on Monday make sure the neck and cheeks are trim.

Keep your beard neat around the edges as it grows.

The way you keep your beard shaped up can be the difference between looking rugged and having a dirty, unkept appearance. As a beard artist, you must keep in mind an important artistic principal: Contrast. If your beard is a little nappy, as it may be as you let it grow out, keep everything else extra clean. Use your beard trimmer or razor to define the lines around your beard. Be sure to trim the front of your neck, cheeks and nose hairs. a big difference maker is keeping the back of your neck shaved and clean.

Go Long, Fellow

Next, it’s time to test your commitment. Let it grow for weeks. Let it grow for months. Grow for years.

You need to maintain the direction that your hair is growing. I would guide the hair down or to the back of my face. Those black plastic combs that you use on your head hair can pull on your sensitive face follicles. Comb your beard out with a Sandalwood beard comb. Here is one the beard comb that I used, until I lost it of course.

You also might want to try some beard oil in it as well. This can help keep the flow of your hair and keep the strands from popping out. You may be thinking this is a lot of work, and well that’s true. I put a lot more effort into my beard than I ever did in my regular hair.

For your mustache, you may want a bit more definition. Personally, I like a longer mustache to compliment the beard length. Trim mustaches with a long beard look weird to me.  Every other day or so I would rub some of this mustache wax between my fingers and work it through my ‘stache with one of those tiny green combs. Here is what I use, The worst thing I found about a giant stache, is drinking out of a regular glass. I would fill up a Starbucks coffee Venti sized cup with ice and water and drink from the green straw all day. Those cups of ice water are free when you go in for your espresso plus they are triple filtered and cheaper than any bottle of water you will pick up. You don’t want to drink beer through a straw either. If getting beer on your mustache makes you upset, drink more beer.

Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments.



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